03-07-2008, 12:05 PM
Sh'lama Albion,
Thank you so much for your warm lead .... an opportunity for me today to chat with a real nice lady over the phone as she put my new copy in the mail!
It's nice when people are nice, I'll tell ya. I'm not going to jump into the whole Lamsa m??l??e, but one thing I'll note real quick (my time and strength lately are excruciatingly frayed) is that you are absolutely 10,000 % correct about the existence and tormenting efficacy of the adversary and his hierarchical host.
But 'thank God' that He is the LORD of hosts! I needn't go to a seminar to understand whether Peshitta is being idiomatic or literal, but as tempted as I am to reveal more about myself, I shall restrain ??? at least for now. I'll just say this, that my life is not my own, for I am bought with a price. Again.
I much prefer the Altar of Holiness that offers a Blood Covenant of Life, than the altar of death that reeks of the stench of human life. If you folk were in my seminar right now, I would teach you that I???m not speaking idiomatically. There is no deliverance ministry, inner healer, or theophostic ministry that could save me or even scratch the surface. I can write today ONLY because there is a YHWH in Heaven who has the power to penetrate multiple personalities with the restorative delight of His Torah (Ps. 19:7) made Flesh, meeting suicidal people in the midst of forests, behind bullet-proof glass in both jail cells and mental-health restraint-beds, and whilst being accused of psychosis when possessed, then of possession when mikveh???d by Life. And all because sometimes families can't find it within themselves to believe that 'friends of the family' aren't always 'good friends'. So I don't care much for Family fights. If the right arm is reaching across to hit the left arm and vice-versa, then inevitably the Head is always at some point going to get hit.
I???ve said it somewhere else before on this site (probably lost forever to a hacker), that you guys are my only family. I could tear into everyone if I wanted to, but what Divine accomplishment would this render? I do not see Him going before me into battle, so why march? If it is His Word that I should defend, a lost world that I should hate, yet a lost worldly people that I should love though while yet [ignorant] sinners, then what strength have I to do battle with Family? I believe the God who drew me through lovingkindness to repentance in spite of Monarch programming, saving countless people???s lives from my bare hands because He is greater within me, and continues to renew my mind not only with coherence but also adhesion ???.
Also brooded His Spirit over Younan???s, Roth???s, and Bauscher???s work in translating the Peshitta for people like me, because He loves them, and because He loves me. I???m doing the best I can, ???as one who has received a gift, to use it to serve one another, as a good steward of God???s varied grace; speaking as one who speaks oracles of God???in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ???. I strongly feel that this is the attitude of Dave, yourself, Dawid, Andrew, Paul, Larry, Ewan, Christina, Rungold ???.
As I said, attaching myself to this impersonal forum with more affection than any church offered me, you guys are the only Family I have right now. When my heart has the gall to write, I have a hard time stopping, and I am in no condition for this sort of repetition. My silence is not intentional. However, it does give me plenty of time to think through what I want to say carefully. By the way Albion, I???m still ???sitting on??? what or if to do anything with that manuscript I emailed you. I believe there???s a big difference between personal complaint and Divine complaint, and I don???t usually sit down and hammer out 18 pages of 12-font litigation from what I still incontrovertibly feel was more or less written through me, than by me; the bulk of which came out at once in about 8 hours. Problem is, I never post anymore without editing, and rather than the thing getting pared down, it has grown to book size! I finally gave up on trains of thought that would glue the seams together nicely, started hitting the ???enter??? bar and simply let whatever needed to come out stand by itself for later interpolation ???.
Well, I had to finally print everything out hardcopy so that I could tape it to a door in vertical rows to even attempt keeping visual track for collation, but now also have to wear sunglasses while typing because I think I burnt my eyes. In the very least, my eyelashes didn???t fare too well as I???ve had to cut them off! Darn things must???ve cooked or something because they kept drooping and now grow the wrong way! Nevertheless, I plod on. If you haven???t seen the movie ???The Chosen???, watch it. False religious motifs aside, I love that movie. I myself have always been able to ???hear??? like Danny learned to hear. Though his father unfortunately did to him what was done to him when young, their knowledge and passions were not borne out of the careless sands of time, but from the foundation of the inner world of the true human condition. The more Danny hurt, the more he was forced to confront himself. He couldn???t understand anyone else until he did.
In our Family though, we cannot save ourselves. When we finally stomach the sheer horror of looking into that broken mirror we call our heart, we become the ???called of God??? and ???chosen people??? ordained from the beginning to be conformed into the likeness of His Image, reflecting as in a mirror the very glory of Elohim ??? which Moshe himself had to veil from the ???elect??? people of the El of Israel; though a veiling no more desired in our day by Abba than in that ancient and fateful day that birthed the Holy Nation. Thus explains Paul, that scholar and seer, to the Corinthian assembly the 2nd time, beginning around the 3rd chapter, to engage climax in verse 18, then continue on in glorious delight.
Today I feared for the first time, that my ???revelation??? of a few years ago concerning II Cor. 3:18 might be wrong, as I looked closer into the Peshitta???s eyes this time. But in my hording of context again, that which I saw for the first time, though it immediately seemed to negate the previous ???revelation???, looks in fact to be a dual-fold layer that simply had not been perceived before. In its immediacy threatened, but immediately assuaged the moment next. Now I truly see what the Author has been reflecting this entire time. Do you see? What enlightened the very skin on Moshe???s face? What does not enlighten the heart of those to whom Moshe is read even till this day? And finally, what is it that prevents that even greater glory to our given time from shining brighter upon our skin than that upon his?
How can II Cor. 3:2 be? The next verse explains, but is only the beginning of what trails on forward, and behind if we perceive. If not, then how can 3:8-11 be? I mentioned my eyes do hurt, but not so bad that I wouldn???t recognize my Someone walking down a street, clothing Shimon Keepa or Shaul of Tarsus with a visible sheet of Shekinah, in Whose Shadow the lame may step and weep no more!
Didn???t He say He???d pour His Spirit upon all flesh? And Keepa saw what upon a glorious sheet? And what was this glorious sheet to him? A tallit perhaps? A Jewish tallit that is for what? A meeting place with Shekinah? A place to meet that came from where? From asking Moshe to veil his face? A linen veil with corners thrice? Or if a veil of corners more, would he not know to tassel them four?
Shaul. Rabbi. Tentmaker. Shaul, zenith of law. Shaul, zenith of tents. All of my part-time pastors who did part-time carpentry could not help but mingle the trade in the homily. I wonder if Shaul then was specially different, though he could not seem to tell all enough about the law in his writings? Would a tentmaker know about these things, or would a tentmaker speak of tents if he were to write? A tzitzit???ed tallit-toting rabbi referencing no contemporary epistemological affluence in ???faces unveiled??? to a Messianic Jewish synagogue? Moshe the adept, schooled by Pharaoh???s occult elite, gave plenty to think about to the Israelite in want for a seraph god!
Has anyone not noticed that till this day, when Moshe is read the veil is laid over the rebbe???s head? Head is seat for every mind, which in Ivrit is called the lev. Lev in Hebrew means also heart. And long ago did one rebbe note: ???And until today, whenever Moshe???s read, the veil is laid yet over their heart,??? II Cor. 3:15. So what is a ???prayer tent??? exactly, and what ???tents??? did Shaul exactly make, and how could this relate to his homily on Moshe???s descent from Sinai???s peak?
My contention for quite some time has been that ancient art, namely medieval, has photographed an otherwise forgotten marvel of MarYah???s 1st Century apostolic mantle, for the records of time. After learning about solar religion, I was disheartened. Then again, Kabbala???s merkava theology did not come first, Elijah???s did. And he warranted that experience. But isn???t it like the adversary to pervert the dealings of the Most High?
First, Theophanies in Patriarchical times then Egyptian and Mesopotamian ???sun-god??? carvings; an occurrence upon a son of man such as Moshe then a surrounding Mediterranean world gone mad for even deeper magick than ancient Babel???s; the Mercy Seat in the Covenant???s Ark then even today???s nifty idea that Imperial Asian ascendants be carefully hauled in plush man-carriages; haMashiach hung from a ???tree??? then black-sabbath worship of B*aph*met (mnl*) fairly impotent without one; contra that is to that olden Cross of Th*th (mnl) then to be displayed proudly in almost every church today; my reckoning as you can see of what was once a prophet???s desire in being careful when making mention of the names of g-ds then to be inverted by syncretic Scribes as yet seen in our day as G-d???s / the L-RD???s Satyr-Day Sabbath in months named like TAMMUZ; and lastly for now to pique the tumbling and toggling checkerboards of history within our imaginations ???.
Quite perhaps, through the lexical lens of Peshitta???s own photography could it not be found possible, that paintings such as even the one on the cover of Dave???s ???Jegar Sahadutha???, where apostles and Jesus are depicted with ???sun-disks??? above or encompassing their heads, were not exclusively derived from a ???solar-parent???? After all, if Scripture can not be broken, Elohim is not as a man that He should lie, the Lord changeth not, and Yeshua haMashiach is the same yesterday, today, and forever ???.
Then perhaps since the Kingdom of Elohim is not in words but in Power, we the People of the United Sovereignty of Elohim, are failed. Perhaps we should exchange our robes of filthiness, for ones dipped in the Blood of the Lamb? For gold and silver have I none, but what I do have, receive without charge: wait on me for you to rise up and walk, or see, or be delivered from your black-cocaine addiction to pornography, until some unknown day whenst I can find enough faith to thence share with you! Until then, believe what I say [apologetics], but ignore what I do [infidelity]. This is good and proper religion, straight out of the Gospel, the gospel of hell that is, isn???t it?
What mighty over-comers live here in these States? Who has their ear so close to their Savior???s Heart, that like John they can always engage the first and last conversation at the Lord???s Dinner table with Cardiac Rhythm upon their lips? And what better way to always be prepared in and out of season for that yielding of an account for Hope Who???s within? Are we to be a polyamorous Bride and sleep with the enemy in this bed of his, this world? Should we wed B*???*l (mnl) like our forbears and be a pleasingly polyandrous Wife to YHWH? Is it alright with Holiness on High, for me to prostrate my loins before the W*den (mnl) of my cruel Celtic ancestors? Or has He not set a more excellent and demanding way before us, His People? A monogamous God, who perhaps wishes for His fianc?? to seek out that which is good, and follow it? Peshitta Tanakh and Peshitta Besorah are both very clear, that there is only One who is good. My heart is enamored!
Oh how I desire to be gazed upon by your eyes, and watch them ignite with the same consuming flames of Love that I so dearly wish could be seen from mine! That is the day, yes the day, when we would both surely walk in the obedience most pleasing to our Beloved! If perchance any reader take me for the lunatic or prophet of falsehood that many shall surely say, let it be known that this Glory is possible to be mirrored upon one???s own heart to their very face ??? if He lives in that heart so much! I can testify, because mine heart was that testament! The tablet of flesh gloried as in Moshe???s day. My eye was a good lamp in my body that day. I???ve never walked so close to Holiness as that brief moment in time. I???ve almost forgotten that wondrous day, as the enemy to all our souls does truly exist, and surely enough roams about seeking to steal, kill, and destroy!
But my testimony to one, of myself, does not fare. Yes my Father sees all done in secret and in open, but that day I speak of, which made known to me the possibility ??? yes, the very Will ??? of our supernal and never-changing God, just so happened to occur before the very eyes of a Hungarian atheist, who for the first and last time of our seven-year relationship declared in one schizophrenic breath ???Ryan, I do not believe in God as you know, but right now I see Him in you ??? in your eyes, your entire face!??? Yet seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, for they harden themselves, and the veil remains laid over their eyes. But as believers, in response, so do we.
Covenant!
If only we could ourselves perceive, then truly we could walk as from of old He desired with us to walk. Perhaps we debate one another because we are insecure in our faith? Thence we may feel impelled to rail our Bodily members or some unclean unbeliever from our own frustrations. The more I remember from fused and fusing parts of me, the clearer Yah???s Will becomes. I remember sensing that hedge around me; His Word was always upon my lips, without need of page. But oh, the time was so brief before I crashed; ???My people perish from lack of understanding!??? My memory, unbeknownst to me, was a catacomb of repressed torturings.
Till this day I cannot handle the thought of all this evil unraveling to be dealt with. Yet it almost killed my ex-fianc?? simply by not knowing. How many people do you know can trigger heart palpitations in another from the mere sight of their dilating eyes? Especially when the chironomer of magick perpetrating these evil, lycanthropic episodes, is not even volitionally yourself? There???s only two blood covenants offered in this life, and having been marked unknowingly as a child, I didn???t have much choice in the matter of now experiencing BOTH ??? and I???ll never forsake till the end of my days, the Blood that was shed to give me life, and nullify Death???s clench upon all my blood that he sucked from me!
I???ve given grace to those deserving only mercy, and mercy to those in need of punishment. I???m tired of perverting the Justice of the Most High. I wish we all were, for it is time for the Bride to mature. It???d be nice to accuse Her of possessing age spots or wrinkles, but I fear instead that we are centripetally trapped on a perpetual carousel of embryonic entertainment. Hypnotized by the scalar sight of L*cifer???s light!
Last autumn a Proverb came alive to me as I midrashed by my lonesome in the nearest local conservation park where I live. I had been noticing that for a very brief and specific time of day, during that official transition from day to night that we call evening, or Heb. ???erev???, that the forest would perfume an intoxicating essence very difficult to describe unless contemplating silently.
All creation declares there is an Elohim. Yet this one ???yom???, upon entering ???erev???, I sat in my lawn chair that I rucked out there, and the sky was so magnificent despite our smog near sundown, that I couldn???t help but remain plastered to my seat. Then a rushing wind gently massaged the tops of the trees, and flicked back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back-and-forth, diagonally. Whatever Scripture I had just read (I can???t remember) quickened my nephesh just as quickly as that breeze had pranced out of the closest of Heaven.
A Maestro tapped. An Orchestra began. Then nature insisted to teach. The boughs became percussion, the leaves either screaming laughter or an audience of cupping hands, drowning the drone of distant traffic out, for then the Conductor Arose with Healing in His Wings! There I sat, under the shadow of the Almighty, nodding into trance by the bequeathing symphony that utterly sang His notes of divine pleasure in all their possible literalness. Who needs to spiritualize Scripture when It can and does become alive? I hearkened, and the earth teached me. No fairies came out of the wood; nay, instead the Psalmist came out of my heart!
Some sort of cellular catatonia I???ve always suffered from, dissipated! Right into ???thin air???. How about THAT for entertainment, Amerika? I heard what I was supposed to hear. Our loving Father is always sending out songs that He sings over us, through the airwaves of the shamayim. At times I could hear the pain and sheer agony of the earth, but not as that flitting wind grew stronger through the tops and descended a little at a time through the trees. A horrible summer for the mosquitoes??? bite; yet lost in this open portal where was even one to be found? I felt bathed as though with lavender and myrrh, yet inside, you see, at the cellular level. I can dance now, you see, because His Breath set me free! Even a polluted forest has wisdom to teach, and this was the Proverb that came alive to me.
Not to castigate us morbidly, but perhaps if the Bride pacified the Maestro a little less and sacrificed a little bit more, might not then songs of literal flame proceed from our mirrored mouths?
Shalom,
-Ryan
* (mnl) denotes ???may the name not be upon our lips???)
Thank you so much for your warm lead .... an opportunity for me today to chat with a real nice lady over the phone as she put my new copy in the mail!
It's nice when people are nice, I'll tell ya. I'm not going to jump into the whole Lamsa m??l??e, but one thing I'll note real quick (my time and strength lately are excruciatingly frayed) is that you are absolutely 10,000 % correct about the existence and tormenting efficacy of the adversary and his hierarchical host.
But 'thank God' that He is the LORD of hosts! I needn't go to a seminar to understand whether Peshitta is being idiomatic or literal, but as tempted as I am to reveal more about myself, I shall restrain ??? at least for now. I'll just say this, that my life is not my own, for I am bought with a price. Again.
I much prefer the Altar of Holiness that offers a Blood Covenant of Life, than the altar of death that reeks of the stench of human life. If you folk were in my seminar right now, I would teach you that I???m not speaking idiomatically. There is no deliverance ministry, inner healer, or theophostic ministry that could save me or even scratch the surface. I can write today ONLY because there is a YHWH in Heaven who has the power to penetrate multiple personalities with the restorative delight of His Torah (Ps. 19:7) made Flesh, meeting suicidal people in the midst of forests, behind bullet-proof glass in both jail cells and mental-health restraint-beds, and whilst being accused of psychosis when possessed, then of possession when mikveh???d by Life. And all because sometimes families can't find it within themselves to believe that 'friends of the family' aren't always 'good friends'. So I don't care much for Family fights. If the right arm is reaching across to hit the left arm and vice-versa, then inevitably the Head is always at some point going to get hit.
I???ve said it somewhere else before on this site (probably lost forever to a hacker), that you guys are my only family. I could tear into everyone if I wanted to, but what Divine accomplishment would this render? I do not see Him going before me into battle, so why march? If it is His Word that I should defend, a lost world that I should hate, yet a lost worldly people that I should love though while yet [ignorant] sinners, then what strength have I to do battle with Family? I believe the God who drew me through lovingkindness to repentance in spite of Monarch programming, saving countless people???s lives from my bare hands because He is greater within me, and continues to renew my mind not only with coherence but also adhesion ???.
Also brooded His Spirit over Younan???s, Roth???s, and Bauscher???s work in translating the Peshitta for people like me, because He loves them, and because He loves me. I???m doing the best I can, ???as one who has received a gift, to use it to serve one another, as a good steward of God???s varied grace; speaking as one who speaks oracles of God???in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ???. I strongly feel that this is the attitude of Dave, yourself, Dawid, Andrew, Paul, Larry, Ewan, Christina, Rungold ???.
As I said, attaching myself to this impersonal forum with more affection than any church offered me, you guys are the only Family I have right now. When my heart has the gall to write, I have a hard time stopping, and I am in no condition for this sort of repetition. My silence is not intentional. However, it does give me plenty of time to think through what I want to say carefully. By the way Albion, I???m still ???sitting on??? what or if to do anything with that manuscript I emailed you. I believe there???s a big difference between personal complaint and Divine complaint, and I don???t usually sit down and hammer out 18 pages of 12-font litigation from what I still incontrovertibly feel was more or less written through me, than by me; the bulk of which came out at once in about 8 hours. Problem is, I never post anymore without editing, and rather than the thing getting pared down, it has grown to book size! I finally gave up on trains of thought that would glue the seams together nicely, started hitting the ???enter??? bar and simply let whatever needed to come out stand by itself for later interpolation ???.
Well, I had to finally print everything out hardcopy so that I could tape it to a door in vertical rows to even attempt keeping visual track for collation, but now also have to wear sunglasses while typing because I think I burnt my eyes. In the very least, my eyelashes didn???t fare too well as I???ve had to cut them off! Darn things must???ve cooked or something because they kept drooping and now grow the wrong way! Nevertheless, I plod on. If you haven???t seen the movie ???The Chosen???, watch it. False religious motifs aside, I love that movie. I myself have always been able to ???hear??? like Danny learned to hear. Though his father unfortunately did to him what was done to him when young, their knowledge and passions were not borne out of the careless sands of time, but from the foundation of the inner world of the true human condition. The more Danny hurt, the more he was forced to confront himself. He couldn???t understand anyone else until he did.
In our Family though, we cannot save ourselves. When we finally stomach the sheer horror of looking into that broken mirror we call our heart, we become the ???called of God??? and ???chosen people??? ordained from the beginning to be conformed into the likeness of His Image, reflecting as in a mirror the very glory of Elohim ??? which Moshe himself had to veil from the ???elect??? people of the El of Israel; though a veiling no more desired in our day by Abba than in that ancient and fateful day that birthed the Holy Nation. Thus explains Paul, that scholar and seer, to the Corinthian assembly the 2nd time, beginning around the 3rd chapter, to engage climax in verse 18, then continue on in glorious delight.
Today I feared for the first time, that my ???revelation??? of a few years ago concerning II Cor. 3:18 might be wrong, as I looked closer into the Peshitta???s eyes this time. But in my hording of context again, that which I saw for the first time, though it immediately seemed to negate the previous ???revelation???, looks in fact to be a dual-fold layer that simply had not been perceived before. In its immediacy threatened, but immediately assuaged the moment next. Now I truly see what the Author has been reflecting this entire time. Do you see? What enlightened the very skin on Moshe???s face? What does not enlighten the heart of those to whom Moshe is read even till this day? And finally, what is it that prevents that even greater glory to our given time from shining brighter upon our skin than that upon his?
How can II Cor. 3:2 be? The next verse explains, but is only the beginning of what trails on forward, and behind if we perceive. If not, then how can 3:8-11 be? I mentioned my eyes do hurt, but not so bad that I wouldn???t recognize my Someone walking down a street, clothing Shimon Keepa or Shaul of Tarsus with a visible sheet of Shekinah, in Whose Shadow the lame may step and weep no more!
Didn???t He say He???d pour His Spirit upon all flesh? And Keepa saw what upon a glorious sheet? And what was this glorious sheet to him? A tallit perhaps? A Jewish tallit that is for what? A meeting place with Shekinah? A place to meet that came from where? From asking Moshe to veil his face? A linen veil with corners thrice? Or if a veil of corners more, would he not know to tassel them four?
Shaul. Rabbi. Tentmaker. Shaul, zenith of law. Shaul, zenith of tents. All of my part-time pastors who did part-time carpentry could not help but mingle the trade in the homily. I wonder if Shaul then was specially different, though he could not seem to tell all enough about the law in his writings? Would a tentmaker know about these things, or would a tentmaker speak of tents if he were to write? A tzitzit???ed tallit-toting rabbi referencing no contemporary epistemological affluence in ???faces unveiled??? to a Messianic Jewish synagogue? Moshe the adept, schooled by Pharaoh???s occult elite, gave plenty to think about to the Israelite in want for a seraph god!
Has anyone not noticed that till this day, when Moshe is read the veil is laid over the rebbe???s head? Head is seat for every mind, which in Ivrit is called the lev. Lev in Hebrew means also heart. And long ago did one rebbe note: ???And until today, whenever Moshe???s read, the veil is laid yet over their heart,??? II Cor. 3:15. So what is a ???prayer tent??? exactly, and what ???tents??? did Shaul exactly make, and how could this relate to his homily on Moshe???s descent from Sinai???s peak?
My contention for quite some time has been that ancient art, namely medieval, has photographed an otherwise forgotten marvel of MarYah???s 1st Century apostolic mantle, for the records of time. After learning about solar religion, I was disheartened. Then again, Kabbala???s merkava theology did not come first, Elijah???s did. And he warranted that experience. But isn???t it like the adversary to pervert the dealings of the Most High?
First, Theophanies in Patriarchical times then Egyptian and Mesopotamian ???sun-god??? carvings; an occurrence upon a son of man such as Moshe then a surrounding Mediterranean world gone mad for even deeper magick than ancient Babel???s; the Mercy Seat in the Covenant???s Ark then even today???s nifty idea that Imperial Asian ascendants be carefully hauled in plush man-carriages; haMashiach hung from a ???tree??? then black-sabbath worship of B*aph*met (mnl*) fairly impotent without one; contra that is to that olden Cross of Th*th (mnl) then to be displayed proudly in almost every church today; my reckoning as you can see of what was once a prophet???s desire in being careful when making mention of the names of g-ds then to be inverted by syncretic Scribes as yet seen in our day as G-d???s / the L-RD???s Satyr-Day Sabbath in months named like TAMMUZ; and lastly for now to pique the tumbling and toggling checkerboards of history within our imaginations ???.
Quite perhaps, through the lexical lens of Peshitta???s own photography could it not be found possible, that paintings such as even the one on the cover of Dave???s ???Jegar Sahadutha???, where apostles and Jesus are depicted with ???sun-disks??? above or encompassing their heads, were not exclusively derived from a ???solar-parent???? After all, if Scripture can not be broken, Elohim is not as a man that He should lie, the Lord changeth not, and Yeshua haMashiach is the same yesterday, today, and forever ???.
Then perhaps since the Kingdom of Elohim is not in words but in Power, we the People of the United Sovereignty of Elohim, are failed. Perhaps we should exchange our robes of filthiness, for ones dipped in the Blood of the Lamb? For gold and silver have I none, but what I do have, receive without charge: wait on me for you to rise up and walk, or see, or be delivered from your black-cocaine addiction to pornography, until some unknown day whenst I can find enough faith to thence share with you! Until then, believe what I say [apologetics], but ignore what I do [infidelity]. This is good and proper religion, straight out of the Gospel, the gospel of hell that is, isn???t it?
What mighty over-comers live here in these States? Who has their ear so close to their Savior???s Heart, that like John they can always engage the first and last conversation at the Lord???s Dinner table with Cardiac Rhythm upon their lips? And what better way to always be prepared in and out of season for that yielding of an account for Hope Who???s within? Are we to be a polyamorous Bride and sleep with the enemy in this bed of his, this world? Should we wed B*???*l (mnl) like our forbears and be a pleasingly polyandrous Wife to YHWH? Is it alright with Holiness on High, for me to prostrate my loins before the W*den (mnl) of my cruel Celtic ancestors? Or has He not set a more excellent and demanding way before us, His People? A monogamous God, who perhaps wishes for His fianc?? to seek out that which is good, and follow it? Peshitta Tanakh and Peshitta Besorah are both very clear, that there is only One who is good. My heart is enamored!
Oh how I desire to be gazed upon by your eyes, and watch them ignite with the same consuming flames of Love that I so dearly wish could be seen from mine! That is the day, yes the day, when we would both surely walk in the obedience most pleasing to our Beloved! If perchance any reader take me for the lunatic or prophet of falsehood that many shall surely say, let it be known that this Glory is possible to be mirrored upon one???s own heart to their very face ??? if He lives in that heart so much! I can testify, because mine heart was that testament! The tablet of flesh gloried as in Moshe???s day. My eye was a good lamp in my body that day. I???ve never walked so close to Holiness as that brief moment in time. I???ve almost forgotten that wondrous day, as the enemy to all our souls does truly exist, and surely enough roams about seeking to steal, kill, and destroy!
But my testimony to one, of myself, does not fare. Yes my Father sees all done in secret and in open, but that day I speak of, which made known to me the possibility ??? yes, the very Will ??? of our supernal and never-changing God, just so happened to occur before the very eyes of a Hungarian atheist, who for the first and last time of our seven-year relationship declared in one schizophrenic breath ???Ryan, I do not believe in God as you know, but right now I see Him in you ??? in your eyes, your entire face!??? Yet seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, for they harden themselves, and the veil remains laid over their eyes. But as believers, in response, so do we.
Covenant!
If only we could ourselves perceive, then truly we could walk as from of old He desired with us to walk. Perhaps we debate one another because we are insecure in our faith? Thence we may feel impelled to rail our Bodily members or some unclean unbeliever from our own frustrations. The more I remember from fused and fusing parts of me, the clearer Yah???s Will becomes. I remember sensing that hedge around me; His Word was always upon my lips, without need of page. But oh, the time was so brief before I crashed; ???My people perish from lack of understanding!??? My memory, unbeknownst to me, was a catacomb of repressed torturings.
Till this day I cannot handle the thought of all this evil unraveling to be dealt with. Yet it almost killed my ex-fianc?? simply by not knowing. How many people do you know can trigger heart palpitations in another from the mere sight of their dilating eyes? Especially when the chironomer of magick perpetrating these evil, lycanthropic episodes, is not even volitionally yourself? There???s only two blood covenants offered in this life, and having been marked unknowingly as a child, I didn???t have much choice in the matter of now experiencing BOTH ??? and I???ll never forsake till the end of my days, the Blood that was shed to give me life, and nullify Death???s clench upon all my blood that he sucked from me!
I???ve given grace to those deserving only mercy, and mercy to those in need of punishment. I???m tired of perverting the Justice of the Most High. I wish we all were, for it is time for the Bride to mature. It???d be nice to accuse Her of possessing age spots or wrinkles, but I fear instead that we are centripetally trapped on a perpetual carousel of embryonic entertainment. Hypnotized by the scalar sight of L*cifer???s light!
Last autumn a Proverb came alive to me as I midrashed by my lonesome in the nearest local conservation park where I live. I had been noticing that for a very brief and specific time of day, during that official transition from day to night that we call evening, or Heb. ???erev???, that the forest would perfume an intoxicating essence very difficult to describe unless contemplating silently.
All creation declares there is an Elohim. Yet this one ???yom???, upon entering ???erev???, I sat in my lawn chair that I rucked out there, and the sky was so magnificent despite our smog near sundown, that I couldn???t help but remain plastered to my seat. Then a rushing wind gently massaged the tops of the trees, and flicked back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back-and-forth, diagonally. Whatever Scripture I had just read (I can???t remember) quickened my nephesh just as quickly as that breeze had pranced out of the closest of Heaven.
A Maestro tapped. An Orchestra began. Then nature insisted to teach. The boughs became percussion, the leaves either screaming laughter or an audience of cupping hands, drowning the drone of distant traffic out, for then the Conductor Arose with Healing in His Wings! There I sat, under the shadow of the Almighty, nodding into trance by the bequeathing symphony that utterly sang His notes of divine pleasure in all their possible literalness. Who needs to spiritualize Scripture when It can and does become alive? I hearkened, and the earth teached me. No fairies came out of the wood; nay, instead the Psalmist came out of my heart!
Some sort of cellular catatonia I???ve always suffered from, dissipated! Right into ???thin air???. How about THAT for entertainment, Amerika? I heard what I was supposed to hear. Our loving Father is always sending out songs that He sings over us, through the airwaves of the shamayim. At times I could hear the pain and sheer agony of the earth, but not as that flitting wind grew stronger through the tops and descended a little at a time through the trees. A horrible summer for the mosquitoes??? bite; yet lost in this open portal where was even one to be found? I felt bathed as though with lavender and myrrh, yet inside, you see, at the cellular level. I can dance now, you see, because His Breath set me free! Even a polluted forest has wisdom to teach, and this was the Proverb that came alive to me.
Not to castigate us morbidly, but perhaps if the Bride pacified the Maestro a little less and sacrificed a little bit more, might not then songs of literal flame proceed from our mirrored mouths?
Shalom,
-Ryan
* (mnl) denotes ???may the name not be upon our lips???)