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To my good friend Ryan
#1
Shlama all--

I wanted to write a public apology to Ryan Dooley. As most of you know I believe that public errors deserve public resolution, and this is what I will try earnestly to do.

Ryan emailed me earlier today to tell me he was very hurt by our exchanges and I also expressed to him why I felt hurt and said what I said. That is between him and I and for everyone's sake I don't wish to revisit that here unless he wishes to. The important thing that I want Ryan and all of you to know is that I overreacted. There are many reasons why this happened with me that have nothing to do with him. I most certainly am very sensitive when people put the words "lose inheritance" and "Israel" in the same sentence and suggest they have control over such. Ryan didn't mean it that way--but for me it went back to something the Nazis used to say, "I will decide who is a Jew". I have Holocaust survivors and victims in my family so this is a soft spot for me, no doubt excaerbated by my injury for the past 2 months and other hardships and some other nasty things that I would rather not get into.

That is, my friends, an explanation but NOT an excuse for what I said back to Ryan. So let me be clear: I was wrong to articulate those feelings and I was wrong not to make any differentiation between those words and who was saying them and in what context. The exercise did not catch me at my best and I regret the hurt I caused. If I had known the level of pain Ryan had there is no way I would have said these things in spite of my own hurt. It simply would not have happened, and he was right to say to me that life and death are in the tongue, for so Scripture teaches. I stand befor eall of you properly rebuked and chastened.

Ryan has also explained to me things that were not apparent in his previous posts here. The main point that had the most resonance to me was that he was trying to say that my general support for some form of two house theology lended creedence to a simlar view he has and was debating on. I kind of got more caught up in being compared without clarification to Moshe K and another person that I also have huge disagreements with. I explained to Ryan that it was important to me that I not have their taint, even inadvertently, but even so, again, I was wrong and I was out of line.

I apologize to my dear brother Ryan and to everyone here at peshitta.org who may have been uncomfortable with the thread. I take my anger back because it never should have come out in the first place.

Shlama w'burkate
Andrew Gabriel Roth
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#2
Dear all ???


I should have given our dear and consistent Andrew the benefit of the doubt.

I thought he was reproaching me for one thing, when all the while he was gravely concerned about his name being sandwiched between certain others??? ??? one of those being of gravely ill repute. We all know who that is, and Andrew is surely correct in not desiring his name to be associated with such unrepentant evil. In what was a simple illustration for me to akhan Albion, I lapsed in my judgment of sensitivity towards akhan Andrew and his godforsaken battles of late against God-forsaking people who???ve been smearing his hard earned honorable name, and that of the Netzarim in whole. God surely has not forsaken Andrew, though. He has demonstrated incredible grace under incredible circumstances, and I so quickly forgot. Please forgive me, Andrew, please forgive me.

I feel as though I???ve treated you as a common criminal now; as one who was not worth bothering emailing in private first to have rectified the meaning and intent of your reply-post to mine. I???ve been called against my own words that I posted to Albion in my post, and feel now like a hypocrite. I think we both misunderstood each other, both unwittingly and unintentionally wounded one another, and here you are, publicly apologizing to me. I am absolutely humbled. Surely I accept your apology ??? please now, will you please, accept mine?

I reacted to Andrew???s post as if struck by a quiver of arrows, and in so doing, wielded a sword myself. Andrew was right, that it was unbecoming of me ??? that is, for one who professes to know the God of forgiveness and of all understanding. Some people may deserve such harsh rebukes from me, but certainly not Andrew. I should have gone to him first, as the Scripture says. Please forgive me of my sin against you Andrew. And as to my remark of robbing you of your inheritance, I surely know that this is not something literally possible to do, and is exactly why I stated it, to drive my point home, albeit without regard to history???s woe. It was mean of me, and done out of retaliation to a ghost argument. Whether it be called hyperbole or rhetoric or what-not, it was wrong, wrong, wrong. I certainly did not intend the remark to suggest I have control over such, for that is ridiculous ??? something that not even YHWH has the power to change, lest He turn against His own faithful Word and betray Himself (something quite impossible). I now know that this was death from my tongue to your soul. For this, of ALL things, please forgive me Andrew?

For the record, as Andrew has explained that for him there were some things not readily apparent to him in my previous posts, likewise this predicament occurred to me when I read his, which prompted my response. But through email to one another, I have now had clarified to me what was not apparent from him; and as he has stated, he has now had clarified to him, what was not apparent from me. I now understand his main point. And dear akhi Andrew, I will make it my point now to keep your good name removed from the dirtiness of tainted names. Totally understandable ??? hey, YHWH also wishes no unclean name to be associated with His. Like Father, like son, yes?

Now, if you don???t mind, since I couldn???t think of a better way of wording this myself, I???d really like to humbly borrow from your last line:

I apologize to my dear brother Andrew and to everyone here at peshitta.org who may have been uncomfortable with the thread. I take my anger back because it never should have come out in the first place.

Affectionately yours,

Ryan


P.S. Looking at the time that you posted this Andrew, I???d say that at about the approximate same time, Alaha was busy shoving my nose in Lev. 19:17-18, which says,
???You are not to hate your brother in your heart; rebuke, yes, rebuke your fellow, that you not bear sin because of him! 18. You are not to take-vengeance, you are not to retain-anger against the sons of your kinspeople??? but be-loving to your neighbor (as one) like yourself, I am YHWH!"
Amen.
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#3
Shlama Akhi Ryan,

You were forgiven before you typed a single word.

There is no issue.

Forget it even happened.

Shlama w'burkate
Andrew Gabriel Roth
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